The Subconscious Block: Why Do We Fear Speaking Up?

The fear of speaking up often stems from subconscious blocks. This fear is usually tied to past traumas, whether relational, societal, or familial. These unprocessed emotions—like anger, grief, or pain—can suppress your authentic self, making it difficult for you to speak up and take action in the world.

To overcome the fear of speaking up, you need to recognize and heal these suppressed emotions. This fear is often a subconscious barrier that holds you back from everything you truly want to achieve, whether it’s starting a new business, nurturing healthy relationships, or pursuing creative passions.

Fear of Speaking Up: What’s Holding You Back?

Many people fear that if they speak up, set boundaries, or express their true selves, they will be rejected, mocked, or even abandoned. This fear often traces back to childhood experiences where expressing your needs or desires may have led to punishment, judgment, or disapproval. As a result, many of us learn to stay silent and suppress our emotions, leading to a fear of being seen or heard.

In an emotionally immature society, we are often conditioned to prioritize harmony over authenticity. From a young age, we learn to suppress our needs and desires, internalizing the message that expressing our truth is unsafe. Over time, this results in a deep fear of taking up space and manifesting our full selves. 

Suppressed Anger & the Fear of Speaking Up

A crucial step in overcoming the fear of speaking up is recognizing the role of anger. Many people are taught to suppress their anger, seeing it as a dangerous or unacceptable emotion. However, anger is a powerful force that can help you set boundaries and speak your truth. When expressed in a healthy way, anger provides the energy and courage needed to assert yourself and take action.

If you’ve been suppressing your anger, you may also be suppressing your ability to speak up. By allowing yourself to feel and express anger constructively, you reclaim your power and overcome the fear of speaking up. This process is essential for authentic self-expression and living in alignment with your true self.

The Role of Intergenerational Trauma in the Fear of Speaking Up

The fear of speaking up often has roots in intergenerational trauma. For example, if your grandmother grew up with a controlling or aggressive father, she might have learned to stay quiet to protect herself. This behavior can be passed down through generations, creating a cycle of emotional suppression.

To overcome the fear of speaking up, it’s important to recognize and break these inherited patterns. By understanding the trauma passed down through your family, you can start to heal not only for yourself but for future generations. This awareness allows you to stop the cycle of suppression and step into your own voice with confidence.

The Grandmother’s Example: Unpacking Intergenerational Patterns

Let’s take a closer look at the example of your grandmother. Perhaps she grew up with a father who was cold, hard, and demanded submission from his children. As a little girl, she felt small, helpless, and dominated. In response, she learned to suppress her emotions, including her anger and frustration, to keep herself safe. But deep down, that pain, resentment, and anger toward her father remained.

This unresolved pain is passed on to her children—your parents. She might have taught them that being gentle, agreeable, and avoiding anger were the best ways to navigate life. Showing anger or asserting boundaries was deemed dangerous or inappropriate. And so, these beliefs were passed down to you, shaping your own struggles with expressing your truth.

This is how intergenerational trauma plays out, subtly influencing how we navigate the world. Breaking free from these inherited patterns requires awareness of their existence and a commitment to healing not just for yourself, but for the generations that came before you. 

How to Overcome the Fear of Speaking Up

To start overcoming the fear of speaking up, ask yourself key questions:
• Why am I afraid to speak up?
• What is the worst that could happen if I set a boundary or express my truth?
• What unprocessed emotions, such as pain, grief, or anger, are contributing to this fear?

By acknowledging these fears and processing the underlying emotions, you can begin to heal. Whether it’s childhood trauma, societal conditioning, or intergenerational patterns, the key to overcoming the fear of speaking up lies in your willingness to confront these suppressed emotions.

Reclaiming Your Power by Embracing Anger

The emotion we often avoid the most is the one we need to embrace to heal. Anger is not inherently destructive; it’s a powerful force when used constructively. By allowing yourself to feel and express your anger, you reclaim your power. It’s the key to setting boundaries, speaking up, and taking action in your life.

Suppressing anger doesn’t make it disappear. It lives in your subconscious, waiting to be triggered, waiting for a moment to be released. The key to overcoming the fear of speaking up is not just about managing fear—it’s about releasing the suppressed anger and grief from your past.

Conclusion: Embrace Your Full Self to Overcome the Fear of Speaking Up

In a world that often encourages suppression, your greatest act of courage is to speak your truth. By acknowledging the suppressed anger and pain inside of you, you can break free from the fear of speaking up and begin to manifest the life you truly desire.

Allow yourself to be all of who you are—not just the peace and love, but also the strength, power, and yes, the anger. By integrating all parts of yourself, you’ll find the courage to speak your truth, set boundaries, and live authentically.

Final Thoughts

If you’ve been holding back your voice out of fear, it’s time to take the first step toward healing. By addressing the suppressed emotions that contribute to your fear, you can overcome the fear of speaking up and step into your power. It’s not always easy, but the journey is worth it.
Start by asking yourself the tough questions, and be willing to face the pain, grief, and anger that may have been hiding inside you. Through this process, you’ll find the strength to set boundaries, speak your truth, and reclaim your voice in the world.

Need Help?

Away from traditional (talk) therapy and coaching we have created new tools for self-discovery, healing, transformation and growth. Our tools follow a holistic approach where we combine somatic and emotional healing practices with psychological theory & guidance.

If you resonated with the insights shared in this blog post and are seeking guidance on your healing journey, here are 3 ways we can help you:

1. Shop In Our Webshop

In our webshop you can find all our tools sorted by theme, visit our shop here.

2. Become A Member

Become a member of our online platform & community for Self-discovery, Healing, Transformation & Empowerment: Heart Journey.

Gain instant access to all our Meditations, Somatic Exercises, Parts Work Exercises, Videos, Visualizations and much more for just €11,99 per month or €99 per year!

Start your 5 day free trial here.

3. 1-on-1 Guidance

Feel in need of personal guidance? We offer 1-on-1 guidance that transcends classic talk therapy & coaching, speaks directly to the emotions and trauma stored and suppressed in the body, and gets to the root of mental, emotional & physical suffering. Just click here to book a free intake.

Related Blogs