Your fear of speaking up, setting boundaries, and expressing your truth is not just a surface-level issue – it’s a deep-rooted collective (and intergenerational) trauma that holds you back from achieving your dreams and living your most authentic life. 

When you learn to speak your truth, say no, and set healthy boundaries, you’ll start to feel safer and more grounded within yourself. You’ll realize that the power and freedom you seek are already within you, waiting to be unleashed. Overcoming this fear is essential for manifesting your desires, sharing your gifts with the world, creating fulfilling relationships, and in the end create the changes individually and collectively that are so much needed right now.

Table of Contents

This blog is generated by AI based on our video about this topic. You can watch our video below. Prefer to read on? Just scroll down below the video. 

Why Are We Afraid to Speak Up?

The reasons behind our fear of speaking up are often rooted in past experiences of rejection, abandonment, shame, or a deep-seated belief that we are unworthy. We’re afraid of the consequences of speaking our truth – being mocked, ridiculed, or losing the love and acceptance of others.

Beneath this fear lies a suppressed emotion that is often the key driver of our hesitation to take up space and express ourselves: anger. Many of us have learned from a young age to suppress our anger, either because we witnessed its “unhealthy” expression in our caregivers or because we felt powerless and helpless in the face of it.

The Suppressed Emotion Behind the Fear of Speaking Up

Anger is a powerful emotion that can feel overwhelming and dangerous, especially for those of us who grew up in emotionally immature or traumatic environments. We may have made a subconscious pact with ourselves to never feel or express this emotion, as it triggered feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and a lack of control.

However, by suppressing our anger, we also suppress our boundaries, our truth, our creativity, and our ability to manifest our desires. The energy we use to hold back our anger is the same energy we need to step into our power and share our authentic selves with the world.

If you find yourself feeling uncomfortable or judgmental towards others who speak up, set boundaries, or express their anger, it may be a sign that you are suppressing this emotion within yourself. This suppressed anger is often the root cause of our fear of speaking up.


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Self-Discovery Questions

To better understand your relationship with the fear of speaking up, consider asking yourself these questions:

  • Why am I so afraid to speak up, set boundaries, or share my truth?
  • What is the worst-case scenario I’m afraid of if I do speak up?
  • What beliefs or stories do I hold about myself that contribute to this fear?
  • Am I suppressing anger or other emotions that are preventing me from expressing myself?
  • Do I judge or feel uncomfortable when others speak up, set boundaries, or express anger? If so, why?

Collective Trauma and the Fear of Speaking Up

The fear of speaking up is often passed down through generations, a form of collective or intergenerational trauma. For example, your grandmother may have learned to suppress her anger and boundaries due to the domineering and aggressive behavior of her own father. This trauma then gets passed on to your parents and, ultimately, to you.

You may have been taught from a young age that being “gentle, peaceful, and loving” is the right way to be, while expressing anger or speaking up is seen as “bad” or “unsafe.” This conditioning can make it incredibly difficult to overcome the fear of speaking up and sharing your authentic self with the world.

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Overcoming Fear of Speaking Up Toolkit

This toolkit is designed for everybody who feels ready to finally overcome the fear of speaking up and free their true and authentic voice.

Learn why it is so hard for you to speak up, set a boundary or share your truth. Discover to which unprocessed events from your past your fear of speaking up is connected to, and feel the suppressed emotions that are behind it.

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Recap: Are You an Anger Suppressor?

If you find yourself struggling with the fear of speaking up, it’s important to explore whether you are suppressing your anger. Ask yourself:

  • Am I afraid of being rejected, abandoned, or left alone with my unprocessed pain, grief, and hurt?
  • Am I actually suppressing and not allowing the anger that is living inside of me?
  • Do I judge or feel uncomfortable when others speak up, set boundaries, or express their anger?

Becoming aware of your relationship with anger is a crucial step in overcoming the fear of speaking up and manifesting your authentic self.


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