If you are on a journey of personal growth, healing, and transformation, you may find yourself asking how to truly heal and create change in your life. One key aspect that is often overlooked but essential to true change is emotional tolerance. In this blog, we will explore what emotional tolerance is, how to increase it, and how it can help you create the life you dream of.

Table of Contents

• What is emotional tolerance & how to do it?
• An example
• Step 1: Create awareness
• Step 2: Discover your protection mechanisms
• Step 3: Emotional release & integration
• Step 4: Presence
• Step 5: Choose different behavior
• Safety, Regulation & Personal power

This blog is generated by AI based on our video about this topic. You can watch our video below. Prefer to read on? Just scroll down below the video. 

What is emotional tolerance & how to do it?

Emotional tolerance is the ability to create a space or pause between external stimuli and your reaction to them. When you have experienced trauma, deep shame, or feelings of unworthiness, it is common to be defensive or reactive to the world. This unsafety that you perceive in the world triggers your insecurities, fears, and traumas, causing you to want to run away from yourself and avoid facing your emotions.

Increasing your emotional tolerance level requires staying present with whatever you experience inside your body. The more you can sit with and be present with your emotions, the more you can create a pause before reacting to the world. This shift allows you to consciously choose new behaviors and reactions, rather than being driven solely by past experiences.

An example

For example, let’s say your trigger is self-doubt. When you’re triggered, you may start doubting yourself and your abilities, which prevents you from taking action or sharing your ideas. Recognizing this mechanism allows you to redirect your focus to what is happening inside your body and investigate the suppressed emotions that are being triggered. By understanding and working through these emotions, you can begin to heal and increase your emotional tolerance.

Step 1: Create awareness

The first step in increasing your emotional tolerance is to create self-awareness. Reflect on your past, your negative childhood experiences, and how they have influenced who you are today. Consider your role in your family system, your relationship with your parents, and their relationship with their parents. Take note of your insecurities, fears, and traumas, as well as your attachment style and how you respond to the world.

Step 2: Discover your protection mechanisms

Once you have gained self-awareness, it’s important to understand the protection mechanisms you have created to keep yourself safe. These mechanisms may include people pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, domination, selfish behavior, anger, or self-sabotage, among others. Recognize how these mechanisms have helped you in the past, but also how they may no longer serve you.

Step 3: Emotional release & integration

The next step is to work with the suppressed emotions in your body. This may involve somatic healing techniques to understand, feel, release, and integrate these emotions. By addressing your emotional body, you can create a sense of safety within yourself, which in turn makes the world feel safer. This process of healing allows you to regulate your emotions and respond from a place of wholeness and healing. 

Step 4: Presence

As you progress in your healing journey, the next step is to stay present with your triggers. Rather than trying to understand or fix them, simply recognize them and allow them to flow through your body. This practice of staying present creates a pause between stimulus and response, empowering you to choose a different reaction or behavior.

Step 5: Choose different behavior

By increasing your emotional tolerance and staying present with your triggers, you gain personal power and the ability to choose new behaviors. You can respond differently to the world and to yourself, fostering peace, clarity, and connection. This conscious choice to respond from a place of healing and safety helps you create the change you long for.

Safety, Regulation & Personal power

Creating a healthy emotional tolerance level requires deep self-knowledge and understanding. By exploring your cognitive and emotional layers, as well as your protection mechanisms, you can connect with your vulnerabilities and respond in ways that keep you safe. From this place of safety and healing, you regain personal power, allowing you to create new ways of responding to the world and to yourself.

Need Help?

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