Self-suppression & External Validation

By suppressing parts or your authentic self, such as your joy and pleasure, but also your anger, grief, boundaries, desires, or needs, you believed that you would receive the love, recognition and validation you were looking for.

You hoped that by not expressing all of who you are your emotional, physical, relational and spiritual needs would be met. But often, they didn’t. Or, not in a way you needed.

Why You Created False Beliefs About Your Own Worth

The lack of emotional support in your childhood made you create these beliefs that there must be something wrong with you. That you are at fault or must be a bad person. You could even started to believe that there is no place for you on this planet.

Because of these beliefs and because your childhood needs were never truly met, you still try to meet those needs up until today by continuing to suppress the very parts inside of you that you believe are unworthy, shameful or ‘bad’.

The Number 1 Reason We All Suffer Collectively

This continuous suppression of the parts inside of you that you need to feel empowered, creates the feeling of powerlessness and helplessness. It is the reason you often feel anxious, out of control, insecure, small, helpless, alone, angry, resentful or jealous. It’s the true reason you suffer in life and struggle in relationships or at work.

We even believe that this is the true reason human beings collectively suffer on this planet.

Why Authentic Self-Suppression Leads To Powerlessness

When you experience in certain situations that you feel powerless or helpless, it often is because you need the exact parts that you have suppressed to help you in that situation, but that you not allow to be part of your reality.

This could result in you having thoughts like: it doesn’t matter what I do, I can’t defend myself, or: I don’t know what to do (while you actually do know what to do but are ashamed or don’t believe your knowledge is true, helpful or valuable).

Awareness Creates True Change

It could even make you feel a victim of the world, or believe you can’t do or accomplish the things that you truly desire because there is no place for that in this world. You maybe feel empty, lonely, depressed, ashamed, or not safe and at home wherever you are.

If you are not aware of this you will keep on suppressing crucial parts of your authentic self. This will continuously give you the feeling that the world is a scary and unsafe place. A place where you believe you are powerless and can’t create the reality you so desire. 

The Remedy: Parts Work and Integration Exercises

The remedy is to discover what is being suppressed inside of you and what is holding you back from feeling safe, empowered, resourceful, resilient and grounded in the present moment, or from creating true change in your life.

How To Do Parts Work On Feeling Powerless

Slowly start with inviting, communicating, acknowledging, accepting and listening to all the suppressed parts inside of you. Make contact with them, listen to them, express them. Talk to your suppressed parts and invite them to be part of your reality again. Ask yourself why you do not allow yourself to express them.

First in a safe environment where you dare to expose them and let them be seen and heard. This will help you to free yourself from the fear, shame and/or guilt that caused you to suppress those parts in the first place. Then you are ready to ask and understand what the suppressed parts need.

Meet Your Unmet Needs

After this investigation, you can slowly start with meeting your own (unmet) needs, creating the safety inside that you need to dare to express all that is suppressed. This will dissolve the feeling of helplessness. This will give you power. This will make conscious what you were suppressing to receive love, recognition, validation, or something else that you did not receive as a little child.

Conclusion

And remember… you are not powerless, broken or too weak for this world, you just suppress parts of your authentic self and it’s this suppression that makes you feel powerless. By suppressing parts of your authentic self you tried to keep yourself safe and survive.

But you’re an adult now. You can help yourself survive now. You don’t need others for that, so you don’t have to suppress parts of yourself anymore. Parts that are essential, crucial parts of your soul’s expression. Of your authentic self. Work with those parts, integrate them, and feel yourself coming back alive again.

This Is How We Can Help You

If you resonated with the insights shared in this blog post and are seeking guidance on your healing journey, below are 3 ways we can help you.

Away from traditional (talk) therapy and coaching Beyond Psychology has created new tools for self-discovery, healing, transformation and growth. Our tools follow a holistic approach and combine somatic and emotional healing practices with psychological theory & guidance.

1. Shop in our webshop

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Gain gain instant access to all our Meditations, Somatic Exercises, Parts Work Exercises, Videos, Visualizations and much more for just €7,95 per month or €49,95 per year! 

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Feel in need of personal guidance? We offer 1-on-1 guidance that transcends classic talk therapy & coaching, speaks directly to the emotions and trauma stored and suppressed in the body, and gets to the root of mental, emotional & physical suffering. Just click here to book a free intake.

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