If there is one emotion that is often holding people back from healing from their past, expressing their authentic self, or transforming themselves and their lives, it is fear. The fear of being rejected, abandoned, or fail for example. But fear can manifest itself in various forms and the way it presents itself in one’s life can differ per individual.

In this blogpost we will talk about the steps to take to understand any kind of fear on a deeper level, feel it, heal it, integrate it and overcome it.

Want to dive deeper into fear and understand what it truly is? Then watch our video below. You can scroll down to read on.

Don’t Try To Resist Or Push Fear Away

We could look at fear this way: as if it is a little child inside of us, hurt and scared to death, not knowing what to do in life, not feeling capable or skilled (yet) to handle all that life will throw at it.

When we experience fear, it means that this little child inside needs attention, and wants to be seen, heard, valued, loved, and feel safe while moving through life and do new things. It doesn’t help then to try to push, think or send it away.

Trying to cut this part off, ignore its existence, or even resist it, will only hurt more. Because this will only make the hurt inner child feel more lost and alone, and thus unsafe. Furthermore, the resistance will only grow, and the sensations of fear in the body will increase.

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What To Do When You Experience Fear?

So, if we should not push fear away, run away from it or deny it, what should we do then? Firstly, instead of running away from it, it’s best to accept fear when it is there. Secondly, it’s important to see fear for what it is: a protection mechanism with a message and an unmet (childhood) need.

Next to this, in order to understand the message and the unmet need behind the fear, one has to sit with the fear, feel it, heal it, and integrate it. In that way unmet childhood needs can be met and safety can be created inside the body again. This is necessary to integrate and overcome fear(s).

Below we have listed the 7 steps to take to heal and overcome fear.


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The 7 Steps To Heal & Overcome Fear

1. Physically locate the fear

First, try to physically locate in your body where you feel the fear or the resistance.

2. Investigate the sensations

Then investigate this feeling in your body. What does it feel like? What kind of sensations do you experience? Try to describe it in your mind or out loud. Feel the sensations and sit with it for a while in silence.

3. Ask questions

What do you want to tell me? Why are you here? Who are you? Where are you from? And any other question that comes up.

4. Express it

Try to give exact words to it (‘I am so scared, I feel so helpless, I feel so alone, etc.), and then cry, scream, shout, swear, write, dance, sing, move, hum, draw, kick, sit still. Do what feels right for you in the moment to express and release it.

5. Observe it

After expressing it and releasing it, feel what is left of it and observe it. What was truly hiding behind it? Or who? A younger version of you? Acknowledge it. See it. Love it. Soothe it. Calm it down. Discover what it needs and give it everything that you think this hurt little child needs. Be the mother or the father that it needs, for example.

6. Create safety

Then tell it it’s safe, that you know it’s there now and that you will try your best to keep yourself safe. Tell it e.g. that you will carry on with your plan but that you will be cautious and that you will listen to it. Try to understand why it feels afraid and what it needs to feel resourceful and resilient.

7. Co-create

And now the fun and cool part… ask it for ideas and help! Ask it to join you and help you with creating the changes you desire. Fear is a very creative force and has tons of cool ideas. It’s a fast thinker and has solutions for everything. Let it join you on your quest of making your dreams come true and… co-create!


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This Is How We Can Help You

If you resonated with the insights shared in this blog post and are seeking guidance on your healing journey, below are 3 ways we can help you.

Away from traditional (talk) therapy and coaching Beyond Psychology has created new tools for self-discovery, healing, transformation and growth. Our tools follow a holistic approach and combine somatic and emotional healing practices with psychological theory & guidance.

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